Intention to Smile

Today - I began with an intention. To smile. To laugh. To seek out color. To feel the warmth of this most beautiful light.

Yesterday - it was then spring. Today - it's now summer.

For one short moment - I forgot where I am....and remembered something other. A different time. A different place. Before joy became sorrow...and before happy became sad.

It feels all wrong...and it feels all right. To laugh. To feel the energy. To seek out the color and the light.

Is it okay to breathe in - just for a moment - and feel all the good that this life has to offer? Is it okay to smile - in spite of my sleepless nights and tear-filled days?

Again - I'm reminded that no feeling is final. I'm reminded that on an inhale - I can feel sunshine...and on an exhale and in the same single breath - feel rain. Feeling is nothing other than sensation - both good and bad...both light and dark...both easy and so very very painful and hard.

There is no one description. There is no simple definition. There is no absolute. There is no wrong. There is no right. There are one thousand shades of endless grey...an endless array of color.

This is my practice. This is this pose. This is today.

I began with an intention. The energy - did follow. It wasn't easy. No one promised it would be. And - no one forewarned that it would be this hard.

It was somewhere there - in the pause between...and only for a milli-second - I remembered who once I was....and maybe - still am.

That girl. The one who shows up. The one who practices presence. The one with the camera-in-hand.

It's possible that I might - even - have smiled.