It always starts with my magical metaphorical mat...and the practice of beginning. Of letting go of yesterday. Of not - yet - engaging with tomorrow. Of simply being in the right here and right now.
And - feeling.
And - noticing.
And - looking and seeing.
And - trusting.
It's been well-over a decade since I fell in love with the art and discipline of a daily yoga practice. At first - it was like anything else 'new'. I needed structure. I needed guidance. I needed rules. And - I needed positive affirmation...encouragement...and reassurance that what I was doing was just 'right'
Likewise - it's been almost 7 years since I discovered this wonderful world of this daily blogging practice...of showing up and sharing...of finding my voice...of listening to the voices of others. Just as it was on my mat - I needed the positive affirmation...encouragement and support. I needed to be assured that what I was doing was 'good'...was 'right'...and 'expected'.
Practice is practice - whether it be a physical (asana)...or creative. When you commit...when you show up regularly and routinely... when you return and repeat and do the necessary work - things change.
Seasons change. Times change. Perspectives change. I change.
The clothes I once dressed myself in...no longer fit as they once did. The girl that was...is not the same girl today...and - I'm quite certain - won't be the one who will be tomorrow.
This recent decision to turn comments off was not an impulsive one. It's been something I've been thinking about for months - returning to it over and over again in my mind...uncertain. I've wanted to believe that I might continue to receive without returning...that I might continue to hear them without feeling the pressure and obligation to respond. I wanted to believe that I could and I would continue on just as I always have.
But - I couldn't.
'Practice' - it is said - 'and all is coming'.
I craved silence. I craved freedom. I craved space. I craved light and air.
It's been more than two weeks - living in this newly created quiet. I'm forever grateful to all of you who have encouraged and supported me in my journey and quest to discover this voice. And now - it's up to me to pay-it-forward...to share that voice - more authentically...more openly...more freely.
Fire needs oxygen to burn.
I'm setting a new intention.
To breathe deeper than I ever have before. To burn brightly.