Some where over there...and on the other side of here - I'm sure - it's waiting. I'll find it.
Some place over that mountain...that ocean...that color filled rainbow. Some day after this day...or the next or the one after that. Some time - after this time. It's gotta be there. As soon as I answer all of these un-answerable questions. I'll know.
Where it is that I'm going.
The journey - thus far - from where I began to where I am....has been a somewhat unexpected one. There have been twists and turns and many round-abouts. There have been more un-scheduled detours and changes-in-direction than I would have...could have ever imagined. But the path - when I stop to really think - has always been there unfolding just as it should...in front of me.
Today. I'm here. That's all I can say...that's all I know for absolute certain.
Even this - what it is that I'm writing - isn't quite according to my day's plan. It comes thru me. The thoughts...the words...the intentions.
I've learned to let it go...to trust the practice and the process. To know that what begins with simply showing up...will reveal itself from there.
I had planned to share my thoughts about fear - F.E.A.R. About those 'F'alse 'E'xpectations and how they can 'A'ppear so very 'R'eal. I had hoped to answer my most-oft-asked question as to why this 'four-letter 'F' word' - so often paralyzes...stops...and has me second-guessing.
Instead - I'm speaking to my journey...and how I'm learning to love that fear. That it's the 'F'eeling of that 'E'nergy 'A'nd 'R'eleasing into it that fuels me. That it's the inviting her (yes - I'm giving it a female persona) in...accepting and embracing her as my friend who knows me better than I ever will..and as such - can be trusted to advise.
It's a love/hate relationship I have with fear. When she's not in my life...I miss her exuberant energy. When she is - I'm always wishing that she might quiet herself down and stop telling me what it is I should and shouldn't.
And - still - I am here. Some where on the other side of that mountain..that ocean...that color-filled rainbow.
That other side of fear?
It's just as they say.
It's freedom. Of course. It is.