This morning - I heard the birds sing.
I wish I could have identifed their song. A familiar hooting of a distant owl. A persistent tap-tapping of a woodpecker. A chorus of honking sounds coming from the mating geese. But the others - the twitter and tweet - all sounded brand new.
It's what I was thinking. Re-turning and re-imagining.
Layers peeling away...re-vealing what's to be. New seasons. New stories. New life. The ice is melting.
Yesterday - I thought I knew. Who I was. Where I belonged. My place and space in the scheme of the universe. Today - I'm a little uncertain.
Surrender. To the moment. To the blank page. To the changing season.
Surrender. To the ticking clock. The turning calendar. The new rules of this new game.
They told me. They forewarned. The time will pass too quickly. It's not we who are getting older. It's they. Babies grow into children...and children grow up. In a blink of an eye..in an instant - they're no longer yours. They're their own.
The roles are changing. I don't know what to wear. I don't quite know where I fit. I no longer re-cognize that person in the mirror. Staring back.
Inhale - and I'm still who and what I've always been. Exhale - and I'm something and someone else.
In answer to every new question - I remind myself to breathe.
In answer to every new circumstance - I tell myself again - to simply breathe.
In answer to each and every struggle - just breathe.
The early morning birdsong reminds me of life's cycles. The ebb and flo. The beginnings and middles and endings. My family is expanding and growing. My role as mother is no longer confined to my own...but suddenly to many more.
It's soon to be spring.
I look to the early morning birds - leaping and jumping from limb to branch and branch to tree. I listen to their song. And - as I look..and as I see - I'm reminded of how truly lucky I am to be this newly re-created vision. Of me.