Again

In the midst of this autumn and season's end - I'm wanting only to begin.

Again.

I'm wanting to begin without a map or a plan or a destination. I'm wanting to wander without a direction. I'm wanting to begin from a place and space of knowing only that I know nothing at all. I'm wanting a fresh start. I'm wanting a different view. I'm wanting to experience and explore a whole new and raw creative edge.

I'm wanting to get my hands dirty. I'm wanting to paint with crayons and paste with glue. I'm wanting to  get messy...to make mistakes...to fall down and pick myself back up again. I'm wanting to dance and sing and make music. I'm wanting to laugh with the wind and rain.

I'm wanting to begin with a clean slate and white space and empty pages and a computer screen that glares and dares and challenges me. I'm wanting to begin at the beginning...or - at the very least - to begin where I am.

In this month of in between. The colors are changing. The leaves are falling. The kids - like the ducks and the geese - have flown out of their outgrown nests. I'm wanting to begin in the midst of uncertain and ever-present constant change.

I'm not looking for any answers. I'm not even asking any questions. I'm trusting in this process of simply showing up. Whatever it is I'm seeking - will show its colors in its right season and time.

I remind myself - I can. I have long conversations with myself promising that - I will. There's nothing and no one to stop me. Somewhere - here in the middle of beautiful autumn - I am.

Beginning again. With a beginner's mind... a strong body...an open-heart and gentle-soul.
I have...I am - only this.

Now - in the midst of this autumn and season's end - is the just right time for beginning.

Again.