The page stares back at me...wishing to be filled. The cursor blinks. Waiting.
The alarm clock rings. The day has yet to begin..and already - I'm talking myself out of it.
The questions are too hard. The problems - too numerous to begin to count. The mountains are too high to climb..the oceans - much too vast to even contemplate crossing. My life is filled with if's...and but's..and maybe's.
But - here I am. Filling this blank page. With my words..with my thoughts..with my greatest fears and wildest dreams.
It's amazing - when I stop to think of it - where go my first thoughts. No matter what or where or when - I begin always from a place of lack..that place that says I can't..I'll never..I don't have what it takes.
But - I can. I am. I do.
With time ..with regularity..with consistent practice - I have cultivated the skill of stepping outside myself and simply observing. Without judgement. Without attachment to what it is I'm seing. It's just and quite simply as it 'is'.
I've learned to show up...to breathe..to allow..to trust in myself..to find the one thing that is somewhere within..and let it go. Let it flow. To not over-think..and second-guess and question whether whatever 'it' is is right or wrong. It's okay..I'm okay..we're all okay - just as we are.
There's space in my body..space in my mind..space in my soul. As my body stretches..my mind expands...my heart opens and trusts and knows. Feel that edge...what a wonderful feeling. Smile. It doesn't get any better than this. I can. You can. We can - together.
Effort less. Try easy. Write.
What if - instead of lack..I began each day with believing? Believing in 'enough'? Believing in 'plenty'? Believing in the possibility that there is abundance and joy? That all I really need..all you really need..all we need - we have within.
Even with practice - it's my first thought. My home base. It's my own little private and sacred place from which I begin. But here it is. The big secret. The true gift is that we begin each day anew. With a beginner's mind. With a beginner's view. With a beginner's wide and wondrous questioning eyes.
Slowly - I'm learning. I may not always be able to control that first thought..but I sure-as-hell can control the second. Today - I'm all about second-thoughts...those ones that are cultivated with a conscious awareness. With the strength and power that comes from feeling the solid earth beneath and the expansiveness of the sky above. With knowing exactly where it is I am. Here and now...and in this present moment.
Because today - I want to believe..I have to believe...I do believe.