After days of cold rain… the sun is finally shining. The windows are open. The air is fresh and clean and rich.
For me - it’s often a time of year when I find myself wanting to clear away all of winter’s debris. To sort thru the clutter that’s accumulated. To let go of all that is old and which no longer serves me..and to welcome in all that is new.
And there I am – on this beautiful day – in the deepest recesses of my closet. My hope – as it always is – to make less of the excess..and then – once accomplished – to make more out of less. How much do I really need - anyway? Given who I am and how I’ve crafted my life? Keeping it small..keeping it simple have been my guiding words…my mantra..my motto.
What is in daily reach and immediate view – is easy. The clothes – neatly folded..or hung all in a row. I live in nothing other than jeans and sweaters..shorts and summer ‘T’s. If I haven’t worn it this year and or last – then it’s unlikely that I’m going to wear it in the years to come. A matter of minutes is all it takes to cull thru..to decide. What stays..and what goes. What serves me..and what does no longer.
But there – beyond my reach – sitting up on shelves high above my eye – are the ‘things’ with which I never quite know what to do. The box that holds locks of hair – from each of my kids’ first haircuts. And another – that carries all of their handmade cards. And even one more – that is overfilled with letters written and mostly received from years ago..in the days when – if we had something important we wanted and/or needed to communicate we did it with pen and paper and sent it in old fashioned snail mail.
My father’s old medium format cameras. My grandfather’s Polaroid land ones. A silk scarf that was my grandmother’s…that still holds the faintest scent of her perfume.
Often – I find myself wondering what will happen to these sentimental objects that carry little significance and meaning to anyone other than myself. These ‘things’ that I hold on to…that tell my story…that are my life. Will there be a time when I’ll know? When to let go?
And – is this nothing other than ‘clutter’? Accumulated dust that needs to be cleared away to make space for what’s buried beneath to shine thru? Or – are these what ‘define’ me..that speak to my journey..that make me who I am today?
The sun shines thru the window..bathing the closet in its late afternoon light. Hours have passed while lost in this archaeological dig..this emotional excavation. Hours of looking back…of remembering..of being reminded of who I once was...past lives... from where I once came.
I remind myself of my ultimate goal – to make less of excess. And – I decide – that this…this is not excess. This is the foundation. This is the ground on which I walk on..and from which I grow. Carefully – as if they are the most precious objects in all of the world – I place them all back into the boxes where they belong. Back up on that high shelf. Still beyond my view..but no longer out-of-sight.
Spring has come.