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One told me that he's painting the walls of his new apartment...feathering his nest. Busy.
Another said that he's in the middle of working on a paper for school. Too busy for anything else.
And the third - and always my most communicative - shared that she was out at that moment with friends. Shopping. Eating. Having a good time.
So it is..and exactly as it should be. Three grown kids..in three grown-up lives of their own.
It's such a fine line..a delicate balance. Ask too many questions..and I'm shut-down. Ask not too much..and I get exactly what I deserve.
A part of me - always wanting just a little more. Information. More about their days..their lives..their work..their friends and relationships. What are they doing..how they are feeling..who it is that they're hanging with. After knowing every detail of every day throughout most of their young lives..I'm oftentimes finding this newer landscape an uncertain one. A one that is difficult and dangerous to navigate. Hidden land mines. Narrow roads with sudden and sharp unexpected twists and turns.
I'm wanting to know that they are happy and healthy and good in their own independant lives...while at the same time - wanting them still to be just a little bit needy and dependant - in mine. Push/Pull. Give/Take. Letting go..and fighting that urge to hold on too tight. Wanting to repect their need for privacy..while balancing my need to know.
I talk to myself. I quiet those inner voices. In truth - I know everything - don't I? All three of my babies are grown-up. Healthy. Happy enough. Figuring out how they'll navigate their own lives. What else need I know - other than that.